Our rating: 90-min power nap 
= bad
(4 more Phenyl shots 
= unbearable; 90-min power nap = bad; Theek thaak 
= passable; Maza aaya 
= good; Thoko taali 
= great; Koi seekhiye inse 
= brilliant)
So I just came out of The Materialists, and honestly? I was tapping my feet every time the music came on, which was about the only part of me that wasn’t fidgeting with frustration.
This is Celine Song’s follow-up to Past Lives, which absolutely blew me away and stuck with me for weeks. The Materialists starts off promising enough – Lucy played by Dakota Johnson (this is the way clients are referenced in Lucy’s firm) plays this successful matchmaker who hands her card to some guy who’s obviously checking her out. It gave me this cheesy rom-com vibe which I felt was probably the tone for this movie and I was excited. I was missing those enjoyable 00-10s rom-com movies I’d watch on TV while doing my laundry.
At first, Johnson’s character Lucy is shown to have this whole mathematical approach to setting people up, treating relationships like some kind of algorithm like a humanoid Tinder. This made me believe Johnson’s stiff acting was intentional. So the robotic delivery seemed like smart character work. But here’s the thing – even when this major incident happens that should have completely shaken up her worldview, her character does not seem to express it so well. What I thought was clever acting just turned out to be… well, wooden acting. Pedro Pascal was Pedro Pascal, delivered his lines well and looked dapper. Chris Evan’s character had more weight and he was probably the only plotline that I felt wasn’t wasteful. You saw him believe and grow throughout the movie.
The movie tries three different plotlines – one with Pascal, one with Evans, plus the main character’s supposed growth arc. None of them really worked for me or had satisfying conclusions. I checked out after about an hour.
The audience I was with is what made my experience in this movie taste even more rancid. Although, women were rightly and loudly swooning over Pascal and Evans looking good, then cheering and wooh-woohing when women said they wanted tall and rich guys. But the second male clients mentioned shallow preferences or beliefs about women’s looks or age, everyone gasped like that guy committed murder. The double standard was so obvious it was almost funny.
This one is marketed as a rom-com but it doesn’t even have the “com” part – there’s no real comedy here.
Overall, The Materialists had me hoping for something as thoughtful as Past Lives, but instead it felt as calculated and hollow as the matchmaking service it’s supposedly critiquing.
The film is directed by Celine Song and produced by David Hinojosa, Christine Vachon and Pamela Koffler. Taylor Shung, Len Blavatnik, Danny Cohen, Timo Argillander and Andrea Scarso are the executive producers. The film is now out in the cinemas.
(This article has been written by AnimationXpress consultant Taher Siamwala)
